A Perspective On Focus

 I had a message from someone on Facebook the other day which read (I paraphrase): 

    "I'm disappointed ... you seem to produce only cat cartoons nowadays. I was hoping to see more of your proper fine art ... but you're not posting any. Why the change of direction? It's a shame to see you give up ... on a promising career. "

    Hmmm.

    In fairness, it's not the first such message I've had over the last few years and although they always make me prickle at their presumption and insensitivity, I appreciate that someone has taken time to ask - albeit bloody rudely - about my art and to express their opinions about my work. I mean... I still want to throw sharp things, but I can rationalise. Mostly.

    SO - as obviously this is an issue, allow me to address what has hitherto been a largely private matter so that I may explain the changes in my artistic direction.

    A few years ago I had a series of T.I.A.s followed by three significant strokes. Amongst other things, they affected my motor skills, depth perception and overall vision. It took a LOT of hard work and practise (and tears and cake and temper tantrums and cat cuddles) to recover and return to the fine inkwork which has been my heart's true love for over three decades. Once restored, my art propelled me to commissions, international exhibitions and plans for books and a more significant online presence in the art community. Daunting, but a dream come true.

    Then, in 2021, following a hefty dose of covid, I fell ill with worryingly familiar symptoms, culminating in what my specialist refers to as "a significant brain event". I kind of like that terminology as it implies the presence of balloons and streamers, cheesy music and the ubiquitous cake.... the reality's a bit more grim. This time, the main casualty of the brain slug insurgency was - and is -  *drumroll please* my eyesight. I'd hoped that with work it would improve as it had done before, and although it's showing some positive signs, I have a bugger of a time with my ability to focus. It's hard to explain, and long-winded, so here's a visual aid (the vague irony is not lost on me....):

    This is what I SHOULD be able to see:

...sharp, detailed and in focus. I should be able to HOLD this level of focus...HOWEVER - in any given ten second period, my focus switches to and from ANY or all of the following:

    What used to take maybe an hour now takes weeks and plagues me with headaches and nausea. I can manage maybe 15 minutes a day of any quality detail focus. 15 minutes. This work is much smaller in reality than you may think. This cat:

...is just shy of 14cm high. That's a lot of teeny weeny detail in a very small space. I can start to see the allure of digital art, as anything can be enlarged for the purpose of process and then returned to the desired display size for presentation. Maybe that'll be something I look into....

    For now though, the cat cartoons, although they take way longer than they used to, are easier for me to produce. I can still work with colour and that covers a multitude of sins! They're still fun.

    The realisation that - at least for now - I can't pursue the art that I love so deeply has been hard. I admit to a spell of hopelessness, even a slight depression. I've had to let people down, leave projects incomplete, cancel exhibitions and cancel any publication plans. However, now that I have reached a level of acceptance I am able to look into other mediums and styles which I enjoy and try to find a new 'home' for my work so that I can recover my drive and move forward. In the meantime, my cats are my transition and my ongoing therapy. I know they're loved by others as much as me and if they're a disappointment to some people then that's just not where their tastes lie, and I'm ok with that. 

   Anyway - for anyone who reads this, I hope it goes some way to explaining the changes. If you're still grumpy, I'd suggest a nice walk and a hot beverage and some deep breathing... calm it, baby.

Gizmo Has His Pawtrait Done!

This is Gizmo Aloysius Graymalkin Wilkins.  

    He is a wondrous cat - nearly eighteen years old and still plodding on. His legs are a bit rickety, making him toddle rather than sashay as he used to. He has crazy whiskers which, on occasion, give him the look of Dick Dastardly. He has one enlarged eye pupil, thanks to what we believe to be a couple of strokes (or 'events') in recent years, and he's a bit fluffy-minded on occasion. 

    In his former years he was the king of the area, prowling local fields, fighting off intruders and reducing the rodent population to a trembling minority. He's battle scarred and missing a large chunk of one ear - a testament to his gangster activities. In his senior years, he is still the Boss, although he uses his adorable face and persistent meows to keep mum and dad in line. He's defied medical opinion and diagnosis to stick around, keeping an interested eye on all of us.

    Gizmo's doddery gait and ponderous reactions bely the smart cat underneath the surface. In the blink of an eye, he can traverse the full length of our long garden to appear, ninja-like, in the kitchen when food is required. He can disappear - stealth cat - and reappear moments later on a shed roof, watching silently like Predator in the jungle. He doesn't miss a trick.

    He has been my husband's constant companion and closest friend and confidant since he was a kitten. He's been there in the best and worst of times, always gentle, purring, cuddling. His soft fur has collected sighs, laughter, secrets and tears. He has remained constant and true. He is loved by everyone who meets him and his character is larger than life, leaving an indelible heart-shaped mark on each of us. 

    When it came to choosing what I would do to make my Husband's birthday extra special, it was a no-brainer. A Gizzy-whizz portrait. I have loved every second of working on this picture. I added ivy to his fur as a symbol of everlasting friendship. My husband loves it. I love my Husband. We both adore Gizmo. Gizmo loves life, food, cuddles and falling leaves. 

    We should all be a little bit 'Gizmo'.

'Vida Y Muerte' - A Soul Work Complete

 

Hello Lovelies! 

Posh post time. I was honoured recently to accept a generous invitation to show some of my work at the All Souls exhibition at the Cultural Arts  Centre in Temple, Texas. Going along with my resolve to follow a more intuitively creative path, I've chosen to stretch my creative focus by using exhibitions and competitions as practise in working to a brief. The following piece is my primary entry and is entitled "Vida Y Muerte" . It's just shy of 50cm square, took 48 hours to complete and is drawn with a nib pen and Indian ink, with Windsor and Newton coloured inks, chosen for their transparency and vibrancy. During the process I went through the usual stages of frustration and angst-ridden doubt, but when all is done I confess to being rather pleased with the result.

    I wrote a perfectly acceptable explanation of all the bits and pieces and thought processes contained in the drawing so I have copied and pasted them below, along with some hopefully useful close-ups of the work itself. Hope you enjoy the art and if you have questions go ahead and leave a comment - I'll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 As always with my work it is loaded with symbolism. The cat represents La Santa Muerte with her crown and solemn expression, gazing on her destination in the afterlife even whilst journeying through our realm.

  

 A cat was chosen as a symbol of that gateway between worlds, and the picture is taken from reference of a stray cat I used to feed many years ago. She was old, but tough, and although she looked like she'd been through the wars, she carried herself with dignity. I wanted to reflect her stubborn and enclosed, self posessed beauty.

 

 

 

 The 'crown' is represented with twigs (a nod to my own pagan beliefs) but each stark branch carries buds which promise new life. Some bear berries - again the promise of new life but I wanted to add the spirals as a recognition that even this solemn event - La Dia De Los Muertos - carries with it an element of fun and celebration. Also, they lend just a little to my love of Tim Burton's twisted vision of another, darker world.

 

 

 

The butterflies represent souls, and a metamorphosis from one state of being to the next: a sense of becoming something more... The Monarch especially is closely linked with the celebration as its migration patterns and routes coincide and their colour is added to an already splendid array. The coloured inks have a very slightly raw and garish aspect which was carefully considered - I didn't want subtlety in shade, more an explosion of vivid light.

 

 

 

The flowers represented are featured heavily in the traditional ceremonies - with the exeption of anemonies.

 

 

 They have been added because when my grandmother died, my mum dressed her hair with them. The headdresses worn by women during La Dia De Los Muetos remind me very much of that snapshot in time. They remind me of death and the passing of a loved one. They remind me that beauty and dignity are present even in dark times. 

 

 

The snake is a common symbolic figure in many mythologies, here chosen to represent deceipt on one hand, and healing on the other. Its inclusion is meant to add a sense of power and presence, and is a play on the character of La Catrina, a richly dressed pastiche of rich women, often featured wearing a boa. The cat is wearing a boa. The snake's tongue curls round the fur and decorations eventually becoming the tail and body of the creature, my interpretation of the ouroboros, symbolising infinity and the cycle between birth and death. It is adorned with the markings of a traditional sugar skull and features a marigold on its back, a flower used to decorate graves and attract the spirits of the ancestors. Unlike the other flowers, its stylised design lends itself to the pattern of the scales of the boa.

 

 

 

I wanted to add bones... a bird skull chose itself, selected by my subconscious. Once it was drawn I considered the meaning: not only are birds the prey of cats (seems relevant, given the main subject) but also - I have always held with the superstition that if a wild bird flies into the house, it signifies a death on the way. I don't have many superstitions but this one was passed down the family line for generations.

This was something of a labour of love in the end, and a little voyage of discovery and fascinating introspection which is something I love about an intuitive approach to art.

Bright Bird

I'm continuing my portfolio of winter themed pieces featuring British wildlife and flora. This is my latest baby:

     His name is "Bright Bird".

     I love robins....they visit our garden all the time (whilst wisely avoiding eager feline attention) and the flash of stunning vivid red against the dark, bare branches of winter trees and hedgerows is startlingly magical every time they appear.

     I wanted to play with that image - the brightness against the monochrome - but also pay homage to the richness that nature's evergreens give to our world. Even in the darkest, bleakest and coldest months the promise of hope, renewal and rebirth is there before us every day. I chose to highlight the flora whilst leaving the bird in its original black and white, so that it still stands out, but his beauty is enhanced by the flowers and leaves that surround him.

     Adding colour is always a double-edged sword when I've spent three days working through the intricate ink designs and it's something of a leap of faith on each occasion.

     I'm hesitant and nervous with each drawing, but I think it's worth it. I have to very carefully rework the fine ink lines sometimes, where the paint has blurred or covered them - even watercolours. I used Winsor and Newton paints on this piece with some mica powders to bring a little life and texture. After staring at it for half an hour I also added some spirals with a white gel pen to reflect the frosty cold of this time of year.

     Illustrating wildlife and nature is so important to me. I love to celebrate the diversity and beauty in every way I can and these ink drawings are always a labour of love. As with all my work, they are intuitive. I decide on a vague theme (i.e. "winter"), choose an animal, then elements which will complement that choice. In this case it was winter flora, and the bell and ribbon as a nod to the festive element of the season. In other cases - larger pieces, or marine illustrations usually - other animals or even landscapes and landmarks will feature, as well as quotations or other literary text.

     I work from reference for a lot of my detail - especially plants and flowers (or insects!...complex critters) and generally combine source materials to develop an original angle, shape or pose. My laptop is filled with thousands of images which allow me to form these fresh composites. I admit that I relish the research almost as much as the art!

     This "Winter Berry Bunny" didn't require any research for his detail as these plants and berries I have drawn so many times that they are instinctual. His patterns and swirls also just "happened".... the intuitive brain chose them for an earlier companion piece so I have adopted them as part of the theme. I used two reference photos (one of my own and one from copyright-free stock) to composite this little silhouette. This is the only winter bunny I have left - his companions were released to the world before Christmas arrived, so he's currently mine to do with as I please. I have yet to offer him for sale as I am considering adding colour.....somewhere.....somehow.......Let me know your thoughts?

*  *  *  *  *

     Nature is wild, extreme, unpredictable and ferocious. Fires, floods, bitter cold and hurricanes may devastate, but if we support our planet, help our environment to thrive, nature can also heal, repair, regrow and sustain. We've just passed Yule, a time when we bring in the evergreens of nature, the colour of our world and the light of the sun captured in the flame of a simple candle or even the twinkling lights on a tree. The practise is as old as the birth of our awareness... we've followed these simple traditions each in our own way for countless generations as our species evolved. Our simplest expression of hope and determination to overcome must still sustain humanity as we reach to a future where this earth's well being - and that of every living thing upon it - rests on our shoulders... the choices and efforts we make.

     To create is a wonderful thing. To paint, draw, sculpt or sew... to twist and twine, build and mould, sing and dance.... these things add to a beautiful flow that reflects the power of nature's creation and adds to the energies which will guide us on a bright and positive journey. What we believe, who we worship is largely irrelevant... The feelings and the hope, the soul and the heart, reach far beyond mere words and icons to the very core of who we are as human beings. Our power lies in our OWN creation: how we choose to forge our path, taking the best - and the worst - of who we are and choosing to weave our complexity into nature's dance, finding ways to work through the damage and the destruction that is within each one of us, to follow the golden threads, untangle knots, add our glorious individuality and diversity to the design that is the cloth of life that covers this world.

May our patterns be as bold and bright as the little robin in winter, and as full of promise as the berries on the frost-bitten branch.

Much love to all of you and yours this new year and brand new decade xxx

A Beginning.....Again!

     November. How can it be November already? Where does time wander off to when no one is looking? And here's my poor little blog sitting here, neglected, abandoned, a victim of good intentions and procrastination. Well - time to put that to rights!

     I've hummed and hawed about what to write...what I wanted to "say" with my posts...instead of actually SAYING anything. Meanwhile, I've been diligently making arty art and have joined a couple of WONDERFUL facebook groups so that I can tentatively share them with a more direct audience, garner opinion and also experience the utter delight that other people's work brings to my life.
My fine art work has taken a little rest. Work like this:

....and this:

In their place, the doodly illustrations have taken over and gone berserk!

I have a confession to make.....

....I love them!

     They make me happy. They make my husband happy. They seem to make many other people happy. So I thought I might re-boot this drifting blogspace by posting them here, along with their attendant rambly stories, and get stuff going. That said, meet our cats:

     That's Leonard at the top there, also known as 'Shrewsbane'. He's a big lad, thinks he's a dog and is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Clockwise from him there's Sapphira, the tiniest cat in the world, also a megalomaniac psychotic loon; Mischief (actually, "Mschf", but that confuses everyone), a pretty party princess, rave maniac and eternal stroppy teenager; Harvey, or "Count Harvelstien Fluffpants III", Colonel, Jefe, armchair adventurer, judge,jury and far-too-willing executioner; lastly, Gizmo, old gent who does a passable Celine Dion impression at feeding time which, if he had his way would be a twenty-four hour event. If he was a human, he'd wear a flat hat, drink Guinness, eat pork pies and talk about the 'good old days'.

     These are our fur babies. They know that our lives revolve around them and they take full and regular advantage. We are but minions....we know our place! The feline five feature heavily in my illustrations as they provide seemingly endless inspiration!

     My memories and life events are bound up in these illustrations... They're a journal of my days in the home I love with the Man I adore, the cat cavalry and the various critters who call us 'Mum' and 'Dad'.

     Once I get into the swing of things, who knows where this blog will take me? But, for now I hope you enjoy sharing our adventures and random craziness. See you soon! Love from me, Shroo, and the Paws and Claws Brigade!