Friday, November 15, 2019

Leonidas Of Wickham!

Leonard is enormous. He weighs as much as a goodly sized truck and has the brains of a lump of cheese...but he's the sweetest, most loyal and most loving boy! 


     He was a "gentleman of the road" before finding us, abandoned as a young cat by fools who couldn't see his worth. He had to learn some manners, and get used to being touched and held, but he's a simple soul who just wants to be loved. He's a delight.

     Moving half a country with Leonard and his older brother, Harvey was another upheaval but the INSTANT he met his new dad for the first time he was immediately and joyously at home, and happy as a bat at a moth festival!

     We live in the English countryside now, and Leonard has discovered his mission - his true calling: to be the best rodent-targeted serial killer ever to patrol the grasslands! Nary a day passed without at least one thorough corpse hunt, inevitably turning up one terminally startled rat, or a couple of brave-but-foolhardy shrews. Bit by bit he's ridding England of nibbly vermin, presenting them with love (but often without faces) to his Mum and Dad, thrilled with his combative exploits and giddy from the brief interludes of squeaky violence.

     His Dad and I are astounded by Leonard's prowess and success...The best we've had otherwise is the occasional shabby rat dragged in by Mischief ...inevitable punishment for not buying her a sambucca at the well-hidden kitty bar she seems to frequent (the only likely explanation for her regular absences...and the "party princess" sequined cat suits she secretly has shipped via Feline Express). Husband suspects impressive espionage and stealth tactics. I, however, reckon that Leonard had a simpler technique....disguise and infiltration. You decide which of us has hit the proverbial nail on the head!

     I thought I'd share a couple of articles I posted on 'Art Journal Junkie' (epic Facebook group) in October - just so that you can read of Leonard's adventures...hope you enjoy them! See you soon - Shroo xxx

*  *  *

 (First posted 24th October 2019)

     It's closing in on Hallowe'en pretty darned fast and Leonard has decided to enter into the spirit of the season by dramatically increasing the corpse count in the garden.

      The Shrewsbane has fed his fix for feline fun in his field of rodent nests by going 'full Rambo' on the rural rat population. Unsatisfied with the mediocre squeaky conquest he's now off on a quest for ever more exotic, more challenging prey and every saunter up the garden has us edgy and twitching like an unearthed pigeon on a short-circuiting dalek in a thunderstorm. We think "Leonidas" has hit his Sparta recreation mode at full speed and is waging whiskery war on any and all invaders....

      Then he trots down the garden path, as pleased as punch, dragging his latest victim by an unyielding ankle defying his own serial killer persona by purring like a tractor, doing a little Snoopy happy dance, spitting the fatality out like yesterday's bedpost gum then sitting by his bowl awaiting his good-boy-treats. Adorable psychopath...

*  *  *

 (First published 27th October 2019)

"No retreat, no surrender! That is Kitty law. And by Kitty law, we will stand and be extremely fluffy... and poke you in the legs with pointy claws of DOOM. A new age has begun: an age of easy-open tins of tuna! And all will know that 300 kitties gave their last chicken nibbly treats to defend it!"

....It took Leonidas of Wickham a whole three minutes to bring down his first mouse assassin this morning...You'll never see a more surprised look of frozen horror on anything as on that mouse's toothy face ...

Then Leonidas of Wickham bounced around in a circle of happiness, licked his bottom intently, ate his nippity-treaty-treats with gusto then trotted off to check the back field for wildebeest/aliens/zombie hordes.

Once more unto the breach......

*  *  *


  1. Love this!!! I confess I've been team Gizmo since he was poorly but I love the idea of Leonard the giant, bet he'd give good snuggles 🤗

    1. Thank you! Trust me - Gizmo's still the boss! Leonard's his big little brother and does as he's told! xxx


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