A Personal 'Thank You' to Her Majesty, Queen Ellizabeth II

 

 

 

    This last week has been a little surreal. The death of Queen Elizabeth II has been a shock to the system - more than I would have anticipated. I think times like these shake the bedrock of life and remind us of all the times when grief has been so overwhelming that the universe stood still and every second felt like trying to breathe underwater.

 

    Compartmentalising only works in the short term and the loss of an icon, whoever it may be, allows us to open up the proverbial box, break open the floodgates and let grief take hold in a way that may not have been possible at times where loss has been so close, so keenly felt, that the only way to find a path forward was to restrain, control and suppress.

 

 

    This week I have mourned the loss of my family, friends and beloved pets, fading memories of sunny days, and a child that might have been. It has been turbulent, overwhelming and ultimately cathartic.

In an earlier year I would have journaled extensively, written my mind and heart clear of tears, but I don't feel that call any more. So I came back to my happy place, my now, my life here and the peace it brings me, and I finally managed a piece of painty paper that sums things up for me. 

 

 

    The pain of loss and the hole that's left when a loved one departs this world is all consuming and it's easy to miss the love that's waiting to fill the void, and the simple moments of beauty that raise an involuntary smile. I am grateful that I have love in my life, friends who fill my heart with joy, and a home filled with happiness. In spite of all that has been, what is now is more than I could ever have hoped for, and I thank the universe for all those instants of beauty, those glorious helplessly funny moments where a smile or a laugh lights the darkness. I can heal and begin to unfold the tightly bound memories that have collected dust for so long and reconcile my past with my present - marked not by loss and pain, but by those bright unbidden dazzling moments.

 

    Thank you, Your Majesty, for this one last gift - this one just for me. Thank you for sharing some peace. I hope that your loved ones left behind can share some small moments of beauty and joy, together, and remember you as a mother, grandmother, friend. I hope that the sparkle that remains for them doesn't come from your jewels but rather from your smile. 

 

 

    We are all just people, moving between moments. May your moments be bright, bold and beautiful. Here's to smiling a memory to mark the day. Sparkle, you gorgeous beauties, for you are all a dazzling cascade of amazing moments. Go share some xxxx