To Boldly Go....

    Gizmo decides to celebrate Bill Shatner's voyage into space with a journey of his own. After all, there's something to be said for trying to emulate your heroes.  

 

    Unfortunately Gizmo neglected to consider the negative side of confinement in the same sealed environment as his own particularly juicy and expressive trousers....

 

#bumsmells #fartinaspacesuit #onefelixsouptoomany

 

 

 

Tricksy Treaters

    The kids went trick-or-treating this year. They were allowed to choose their own costumes, which is always a risk, but I think they did quite well - although I'm not sure where Gizmo was going with his selection... The last thing that old boy needed was a spectacularly voluminous set of flamboyant trousers....even his companion, the ubiquitous rubber chicken - eternal deflated champion of "humour" - was endeavouring desperate escape from the windy well of despair...the gaudy pantaloons of doom... 

    ...And NOTHING good was ever going to come of Leonard's balloon obsession.

     Missy's recollections of the whole event are fuzzy at best, thanks to her "special" home brew and Sapphira loved her little devil onesie so much she had to be forcibly peeled out of it three weeks later... 

    They managed to menace six catnip toys, a packet of jammy dodgers, three socks and an extremely worried hamster. 

    Not a bad haul considering....

 

Medication...That's What Ya Need...

    Tablets, injections, syringes, sprays, gels, oitments, more tablets....this house is like a largely disfunctional emergency department. Aside from Missy and her 'breaking bad' sideline, medications are NOT a welcome part of our daily activity. 

    The only one of the feline four who's happy to imbibe is the only one who has no current official medical requirement, even though she 'falls over' regularly in front of Daddy on the garden path...."Oh, look, Dad! I did fell over an' evryfin'! Oh no - now I duz needz sum medsin an' tablits an' shit. 'Elp it down wiv a sambuca an' a kebab Dad. Love ya Dad. Oh! I did fell over agen!Oh no!......"

 

 

Love's Labours....

* sigh* Leonard in love.....

 

    Now that Leonard's housebound - thanks to his medical issues - he's pining for the love of his life. Her name is 'Boots' and she lives in her gilded castle next door. She's quite a mature lady, but in Leonard's eyes she is a creature of glowing and radiant perfection - an angel who fell from heaven just for him to worship and adore. 

 

     For months now he has been found on next door's property just gazing at the door awaiting his Love. Of course, this being Leonard, upon seeing her, all suave and debonair intentions are out of the proverbial window, and he rolls over and waggles all four paws in the air, rolling around like a daft kitten who's just discovered catnip. 

 

     Boots, for her part, is quite the coquette, and teases him with playful pats and scampers, flicking her tail and twitching her whiskers. She's not overdone the make-up, relying on her natural beauty and curves to captivate her boy toy!

 

     Alas, it is a doomed romance. Aside from Leonard's now permanent incarceration, Missy is opposed to the match in no uncertain terms, as Boots is her NEMESIS! Missy (somewhat ironically) refers to Boots's flirtations as "an embarrassin' display of slaggin' it up" and says she'll "knife her" if she sets paw on our land. She patrols our borders in her lazy way, flicking the odd sparking dog-end over the garden fence and eyeballing Boots's doorway with all the venom of a permanently pissed off rattle snake, flick-knife in paw and crotchless knickers hiked right up to the very top set of her kitty tits. She's not messin' about.

 

     Forbidden love. All that remains is for the two star-crossed would be lovers to gaze at each other through the window, bridging the expanse with their mutual adoration, while Missy plays aggressive gooseberry forever marking the eternal boundary between the two.

 

 

 

Daddy's Little Helpers

    When Daddy had to take a little time off work when he was injured, the kids pulled together to figure out how they could help..... Gizmo turned his paws to baking - mainly sausage-based dishes. Oddly the pies are always hollow when they're served...and a bit sucked.

 

     Sapphira and Leonard offered their dusting skills....an irony, given that Sapphira is a whirlwind of muck and Leonard's capacity to muster filth from any environment is famed worldwide. The spiders were an issue for Leonard, who sees them as small evil eight-legged alien 'shrooz', however they provided wriggling snacks for his miniature psychotic sister. 

 

     Missy had her own plans, falling back on her 'shady trading' to cover food bills...The medicine box was raided - AGAIN - and the neighbourhood filled with spaced-out hedgehogs and tripping badgers, the result of a couple of lines of the good shit (max strength Lemsip cut with hayfever meds). We've not seen a penny from her dodgy deals, mind you - she rolls in stinking of tequila, nicotine and pungent herbals, dodging the fuzz like a proper shady crim. (Also, she's saving for a summer in Magaluf so .....yeah...)

 

    Gizmo just likes pies. It's that kind of life...

 

A Little Sprout

Back to begin again with a Gizmo classic...

    Old man Gizmo seems to have half of the garden buried in his geriatric fluff, no matter how much brushing and combing is perpetrated upon his rickety person. I think he's managed to become one with the universe by becoming his own doddery eco system.... One thing is certain - he'll not run out of bio fuel (/toxic waste - point of view depending....)

 

Another lunch tin doodle for hubby.