Losing a pet is a trauma equal to, sometimes greater than losing a human from your life's circle. People without pets will never comprehend the loss. We grieve more, I think, for animals because our relationships with them are so uncomplicated, so simple. Humans are so complex and we have to come to terms with so many negative emotions - anger, resentment, guilt, bitterness... None of those things are present when an animal dies, just the pain of the void that they leave in our lives - their unconditional love, loyalty, trust, comfort and the joy they bring.
To pay tribute is almost an impossible thing as nothing really seems fitting or equal to the task. The only way I know how to express my love and loss is through my art, and, in some way through my words. In drawing a picture to represent Gizmo's journey from this world to his eternal realm, I wanted to reflect the joy that he brought to all of us. Inside, I crumpled and felt only the pain of loss as I have before with other feline companions, but Gizmo was strong - they all have been - and deserved something equal to the value he held for myself and especially for my Husband, for whom he has been a constant friend these past eighteen years.
This is a happy picture, although painful to draw and paint. There are aspects which reflect the sadness.... The two sisters, Missy and Sapphira comfort each other as their older brother leaves them behind, although the road to his happy hunting ground is closer for them than for their younger adopted brother, Leonard. He sits close by, a little on his own, bidding farewell to Gizmo whilst waving to Harvey, his brother and best friend, lost to us in 2019 who I know he misses dreadfully. They are all sat down, firmly rooted in our world, as he floats towards his ginger furred litter brother, and Harvey, the latecomer to the family, the other grumpy old man, he and Gizmo studiously ignoring each other even when curled up on the same small cushion...
But Gizmo is pictured still close to his earthly family, still almost within our reach. He filled our lives every day - we are still seeing him in everything we do, hearing his demanding meows, feeling where his furry, purry body would snuggle. We hold on to him just for a while... Ahead of him he has candy floss clouds that catch the love we send, an endless supply of heavenly sausages and even Harvey is willing to share one of his snuggly wubbies with his curmudgeonly compatriot. Sadness, loss and joy, expressed in a way which, at a future date, even my husband may be able to enjoy.
For now, it stays inside a folder with other emotive pieces. The record is made, the catharsis has been processed, and the colour and joy that Gizmo gave us will be held as a record never to be forgotten.
